First of all I would like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who read, shared and contacted me about my first blog. I have received so much love from family, friends and even strangers. It has utterly blown my mind at how far it’s travelled! I hoped I could help at least one person with my story but it seems I have helped many!!
The problem with mental illness is it creeps up on you regardless of how good you feel before. Today I spent most of the day feeling anxious and sad, my stomach was doing flips and I wanted to cry. I even had to leave my desk at one point before I screamed!
Just when you think you’re doing well, anxiety is like “nope, let’s think about all the things that have and could go wrong just for the lolz”
Mental illness doesn’t just affect people with a bad childhood or a bad life. I had a great childhood, my parents are awesome as are the rest of my family. I’ve had some damn shitty things happen in my life that rocked me to my core. As I said in my last post though, it wasn’t any of those things that made me feel my worst. Today I shouldn’t have felt shitty, I have had so much love and positive vibes coming my way over the last couple of days, I should have been on top of the world.
For those that tell themselves they have no reason to feel this way, yes you do! It is a chemical imbalance, it is real and it is perfectly normal and ok!
So since I felt so shitty today I have gone straight down the self care route. I got on Pinterest and found quotes that made me smile, I told people, I listened to some of my favourite songs and sang at the top of my voice all the way home from work. Anybody that drove past me probably saw me dancing in my car at traffic lights too, I’m ok with that, I bet I looked fantastic!
I have also put a mud mask on and had a bath to recharge, today was pretty exhausting. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m writing this on my phone while in the bath with my mud mask on. I needed to let the words out. People need to talk about their feelings and take the time wherever possible to take care of themselves. It is so important and it makes those shitty days less shitty.