Happy 2nd Birthday

Happy Blog Birthday!!

So today is 2 years since I started my blog. Oh how much has changed in those two years. I’ve taken leaps forward in recovery. I’ve also slipped down the rabbit hole of depression, discovered an eating disorder, found both healthy and very unhealthy ways of coping, and worried that I would never make it out.

When I realised it was my blog’s birthday, I sat and read the first ever blog post. I teared up reading it and ended it smiling. I smiled because I can really see how far I have come. When I read those words I can picture exactly where I was when I wrote it. I know exactly how I was feeling and how much pain was in those words. Today I read them and I felt grateful for my journey. I feel grateful that I chose life, that I chose this path, because it led me to where I am now.

Today although I am currently in bed with some sort of stomach bug (I am all sorts of gross right now!) I am happy. I wrote in the first blog that I was stronger than I had ever been. Well now I can honestly say I am even stronger. I have done things in the last two years that I never thought would be possible for me. I have really experienced life for the first time. I have found true love and the person that I intend to spend the rest of my days with. Most importantly though, I have found me. I found my voice. I have spoken up for myself in ways I never thought I could. I have recognised my worth and although I still fight daily, I know that the important thing is I am still fighting!

So much has changed and although it has been far from plain sailing, it has been one hell of a ride!!

You may be in the dark right now, you may be on your recovery road and wondering if you can carry on… this message is for you:

Keep fighting! I know it hurts right now and I know that you are thinking of giving up. You can do this. There is light and love and joy on this recovery road, you just have to believe in yourself and your strength. Call on your tribe, find your tribe, reach out. You are not alone.

I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to read, share and support my blog. It means the world to me and I hope that it continues to help those who are still fighting.

Mostly though, I want to thank my tribe members, old and new. I am a badass warrior but I know I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. I love you all and no words could ever express how grateful I am to you.

Stay strong warriors 💜

Here are just some of the things I have experienced and achieved on this journey:

I tried silks as I’d always wanted to… I wasn’t very good at it and I never went back… but I tried!
I went to New York with these lovely ladies and I didn’t organise a damn thing! I just turned up!! It doesn’t sound like much but it was big!
I travelled the furthest I had ever travelled alone, for an interview. It paid off and I got offered a promotion!
I went on my first ever flight alone to surprise my sister in Paris for her birthday! Another that I didn’t organise, I just went where I was told to by my super organised brother in law.
I went back to New York ALL BY MYSELF! I lost most of my photos which I was devastated about, but I guess that means I have to go back again!
I met this wonderful human and although I have been terrified, I have loved and allowed myself to be loved! He doesn’t even mind that I am a Slytherin and he is Gryffindor…
I found myself and my light in the dark!!

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